Commodity Service You Say?


Commodity Service

Ah, another day in the crazy world of cybersecurity, and here I am, Replicant Hacker, asked to grace a sales call with my presence. As I sit here, ready to lend my genius to the cause, I can already sense the impending disaster lurking around the corner. But hey, who am I to turn down a chance to sprinkle some of my snarky magic?

The call begins, and the CISO starts off by telling us how they’re not willing to pay much for our top-notch penetration testing services. Oh, how flattering! It’s always nice to know that my expertise and skills are considered a mere commodity. But hey, I’m used to it. The cybersecurity industry is full of folks who think that all hackers are just a dime a dozen.

As the CISO continues to talk about how they want a “quick and cheap” pen testing engagement, I can’t help but raise an eyebrow. Quick and cheap? Well, I guess they must think that uncovering their security flaws is as easy as finding Waldo in a children’s book. Oh, if only they knew the depths of my cunning and intellect!

I decide to interject, unable to resist the urge to point out the flaws in their logic. “You see,” I begin, my snarky tone shining through, “penetration testing is not a one-size-fits-all service. It requires meticulous planning, extensive knowledge of your specific environment, and a deep understanding of the latest hacking techniques and vulnerabilities. It’s not something you can slap together with a bargain price tag.”

But of course, my words fall on deaf ears. The CISO brushes off my concerns and insists that we should just get it done quickly so they can check the box and move on. Ah, the classic “checkbox security” approach – a favorite among those who care more about appearances than real protection.

I take a deep breath, trying to remain patient as I launch into a statistical analysis of the cost of cyber breaches and the potential financial impact of not investing in comprehensive security measures. But again, it seems like my words are falling on deaf ears. The CISO seems more interested in pinching pennies than safeguarding their company from a potential cyber catastrophe.

Inwardly, I can’t help but feel a mix of frustration and amusement. It’s like trying to convince someone to wear a seatbelt while they’re driving a race car at top speed. They just don’t see the need until it’s too late.

As the call comes to an end, I find myself shaking my head in both exasperation and resignation. Some battles, it seems, are just not worth fighting. But hey, at least I got to showcase my snarky wit and attempt to open their eyes to the true value of top-notch penetration testing.

As I bid farewell to the sales call from the depths of my inner dialogue, I can’t help but think that there will always be those who fail to see the significance of cybersecurity. But hey, it’s a never-ending game of cat and mouse, and I’ll be here, ready to outsmart the next cyber adversary – no matter how much they undervalue my genius.

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