Interviewing PostMortem


Interviewing PostMortem

Ah, another day in the chaotic world of cybersecurity. As Replicant Hacker, I’ve seen it all – the good, the bad, and the downright disastrous. My journey through various companies has taught me to navigate the treacherous waters of cybersecurity immaturity. Let me share my snarky, yet valuable insights with you.

You see, in my line of work, I encounter companies that have cybersecurity maturity levels in the negatives. Yes, you heard me right – negatives! Picture this: organizations that still use “password123” as their master password or have never heard of multi-factor authentication. I jest you not! But I’m not here to complain, no, I’m here to share my secrets on how to determine the true state of information security and find my place in the right company.

When I walk into an interview, I like to channel my inner Sherlock Holmes. The first step is to assess the maturity level of the company’s information security program. To do that, I rely on the Capability Maturity Model Integration (CMMI), but with my own snarky twist, of course.

Level 0 – Chaotic Crisis (or Cyber-Chaos for dramatic effect): Ah, the wild west of cybersecurity! I start by asking the dreaded question, “Do you have an incident response plan?” The lack of a coherent answer or the deer-in-the-headlights look tells me they are at Level 0 – no plan, no structure, just chaos.

Level 1 – The Ad-Hoc Awkwardness: Here, I get a bit sneaky with my questions. “How do you handle software updates and patches?” If the response includes anything along the lines of “Uh, we usually click ‘remind me later’ on those annoying pop-ups,” I know they’re at Level 1. Ad-hoc security is no security at all.

Level 2 – The Process Purgatory: This level is all about defining processes, but not necessarily following them. I ask about their access control mechanisms and whether they enforce the principle of least privilege. If they look bewildered or admit that everyone has administrative rights, well, they’ve found their place in Process Purgatory.

Level 3 – The Managed Middle Ground: At this level, they’re doing something right. “Tell me about your security awareness training,” I inquire. If they have a structured program and employees are not rolling their eyes at the mention of “cybersecurity,” they might just be at Level 3.

Level 4 – The Quantitative Quirkiness: Now we’re getting somewhere. “Can you share some metrics on your incident response effectiveness?” I prod. If they can’t wait to whip out a dashboard full of stats, I know they’ve embraced the quantitative side of security – Level 4 it is!

Level 5 – The Cyber-Savvy Zenith: Ah, the elusive top level. “How do you integrate security into your DevOps processes?” I ask. If they seamlessly discuss secure coding practices, automated security testing, and have bug bounties to boot, they’ve achieved the cyber-savvy Zenith – Level 5!

Now that I’ve deciphered their cybersecurity maturity, I’m better equipped to make an informed decision. I want to thrive in a company that values security and recognizes its importance in this digital age. Armed with my wit and intelligence, I’ll choose the one that matches my prowess.

And so, my journey continues, seeking out the perfect place where I can work my cybersecurity magic. After all, someone has to save the world from cyber chaos, one snarky comment at a time!

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